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The menstrual cycle explained

This is the article you should have received at school. Not a dry biology textbook, not a vague story about the birds and the bees, but an honest and complete overview of what happens in your body every month. Because the menstrual cycle is about far more than simply having your period. It is a complex interplay of hormones that influences your energy, mood, libido, and even your relationship.

This article is written for women who want to understand their own body and cycle more fully. But it is equally intended for partners. Because when you understand what is happening hormonally, you also understand why your partner is brimming with energy one week and would rather spend the next curled up on the sofa with a hot water bottle. That knowledge makes an enormous difference.

What is the menstrual cycle?

The menstrual cycle is the period from the first day of your period to the day before the next one begins. One full cycle lasts an average of 28 days, but anything between 21 and 35 days is perfectly normal. And averages tell only part of the story: your cycle can shift by a few days from month to month, as your body responds to stress, sleep, nutrition, and even the season.

The cycle begins at puberty, typically between the ages of 10 and 16, and ends at the menopause. On average, that is around the age of 51. Between those two points, your body goes through roughly 400 to 450 cycles. Each cycle is driven by four hormones: oestrogen, progesterone, FSH, and LH. Testosterone also plays a role, particularly in your energy levels and libido. Together, they determine which phase you are in and how you feel.

Many women are really only aware of two states: having their period and not having their period. But your cycle has four distinct phases, each with its own character. Think of it like the seasons: winter, spring, summer, and autumn. That comparison is no coincidence - just as in nature, periods of rest and renewal alternate with one another.

How long does your period itself last? Usually three to seven days. You lose roughly 30 to 80 millilitres of blood in total, though it can feel like considerably more. Once your period ends, your body immediately begins preparing for a new cycle.

The four phases of the female cycle

Your cycle consists of four phases that follow one another like the seasons. Each phase has its own hormonal profile, its own energy level, and its own influence on how you feel. Below you will find, for each phase, what is happening inside your body, how that feels, and what it means for your daily life.

Menstruation Follicular phase Ovulation Luteal phase
Days 1-5 6-14 approx. day 14 15-28
Hormones All at their lowest point Oestrogen and testosterone rising Oestrogen and testosterone peak, LH surge Progesterone rises, others decline
Energy Low, need for rest Rising, increasingly sharp At your peak Declining, turning inward
Mood More sensitive, softer Optimistic, sociable Confident, outgoing Irritable, prone to overthinking
Libido Low (though not always) Rising At its peak Declining

Phase 1: menstruation (winter)

The cycle begins on the first day of your period. Your uterus sheds the lining that built up over the previous month in preparation for a possible pregnancy. That lining leaves your body along with blood through the vagina. It may not sound particularly elegant, but it is really a kind of deep clean: your body is clearing out and starting afresh.

During this phase, oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone are all at their lowest point. This explains why many women feel tired, have less energy, and sometimes feel a little low. Abdominal cramps, headaches, and nausea are also common companions for many women during this time. You may feel bloated or notice that your breasts are tender.

What can help with nausea and other period symptoms? Warmth on the abdomen, ginger (as a tea or fresh), and magnesium-rich foods such as dark chocolate, nuts, and bananas. Light movement such as walking or yoga can also make a surprisingly significant difference, though the sofa is a perfectly valid option too. Listen to your body. If it is asking for rest, give it rest.

Many women also experience menstruation as a moment of letting go - both physically and emotionally. As though the feelings accumulated over the past few weeks are flowing outwards too. That is not established science, but it is an experience many women share.

And intimacy? That is entirely fine, if you feel like it. An orgasm can even ease cramps by causing the uterus to contract. Read more in our article on intimacy during your period.

Reading along, partner?

Right now, she does not need solutions. Not: "Have you tried a paracetamol?" or: "Maybe some fresh air would help". A warm hot water bottle, a cup of tea or a mug of hot cocoa, and control of the remote are worth more than any advice. And if she cries at an advert featuring puppies - just hold her. No questions needed.

Phase 2: the follicular phase (spring)

Once your period is over, your body begins to rebuild. Your brain sends the signal: follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) sets your ovaries to work. Around 5 to 20 follicles begin to grow. Eventually, one wins the race - the dominant follicle, which will soon release the egg.

As that follicle grows, oestrogen rises. And you feel it. Your energy returns, your mind becomes clearer, and you feel ready to take on the world again. Many women feel at their sharpest during this phase: more creative, more sociable, and more optimistic. Meanwhile, the uterine lining is building back up - soft and nourishing - in preparation for a possible pregnancy.

In terms of libido, things begin to stir as well. It is not only oestrogen that rises, but testosterone too. Yes, women produce this hormone as well, in smaller quantities than men, but its effect on desire and energy is no less real for that. Not yet at its peak - that comes in phase 3 - but spring is clearly on its way.

Reading along, partner?

Noticing that she is suddenly making plans again, has energy to spare, and is smiling at you as if she has just fallen in love all over again? That is the hormones ushering in spring. This is a good moment to plan something enjoyable together - a date, a trip out, cooking dinner as a team, or a more adventurous intimate experience. She is open to it right now.

Phase 3: ovulation (summer)

This is the big moment. Oestrogen reaches its peak, prompting the brain to release a surge of LH (luteinising hormone). That surge causes the mature egg to be released from the ovary and into the fallopian tube. This is ovulation. The egg is now available for fertilisation for 12 to 24 hours.

How do you recognise ovulation? Your body gives clear signals. Discharge becomes clear, stretchy, and slippery - a little like raw egg white. Some women feel a mild twinge or cramp on one side of the lower abdomen, sometimes called mittelschmerz. Your basal body temperature rises slightly (around half a degree). And for many women, libido surges noticeably.

And that is no coincidence. Your body is evolutionarily designed to feel desire during this phase. Oestrogen and testosterone are at their height. You feel more attractive, more confident, more adventurous. Research has even shown that women around ovulation tend to put more effort into their appearance and flirt more - entirely without being aware of it.

For many couples, this is the ideal time to try something new in the bedroom. A different position, intimacy in the shower, voicing a fantasy. Your body is on your side: you are more lubricated, more sensitive, and more relaxed. If you are hoping to conceive, this is your fertile window. Read more in our detailed article on fertile days and the best timing for the greatest chance of pregnancy.

Reading along, partner?

Biologically speaking, this is her best week. She feels good, she looks great, and she is very likely feeling more desire than usual. Make the most of it - not by sitting back and waiting, but by making an effort. Plan something, surprise her, be playful. She is more open to adventure right now than at any other point in the month. That may well be different next week, so seize the moment.

Phase 4: the luteal phase (autumn)

After ovulation, the empty follicle transforms into what is known as the corpus luteum - literally, the yellow body. This structure produces progesterone: the hormone that keeps the uterine lining thick and nourishing, ready to receive a potential embryo.

The luteal phase has two distinct faces. In the first half (roughly days 15-21), progesterone rises. This can feel calming: you become quieter, somewhat sleepier, and more inwardly focused. So far, so manageable. But at the same time, oestrogen and testosterone begin to fall after their peak at ovulation. Your serotonin - the mood-regulating hormone - declines alongside oestrogen. This combination of rising progesterone and falling oestrogen and testosterone means many women already begin to feel subtly different: less sharp, less sociable, and more prone to rumination.

In the second half (days 22-28), when no fertilisation has occurred, progesterone also begins to drop. Now all hormones are declining simultaneously, and this is the moment when more pronounced PMS symptoms can set in: irritability, fatigue, bloating, breast tenderness, cravings for sweet foods, and emotions that seem to go in all directions at once. Some women barely notice any of this; others feel for an entire week as though the world is conspiring against them. Both experiences are entirely normal.

If the luteal phase is too short (fewer than 10 days), this can make it more difficult for a fertilised egg to implant. This is often connected to stress: chronic stress raises cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body, and cortisol and progesterone are produced from the same building blocks. Your body will always prioritise cortisol, because survival takes precedence over reproduction. The result: less progesterone (and with it, a less settled general mood), a thinner uterine lining, and a shorter luteal phase. This is particularly relevant if you are hoping to conceive, but even without that consideration, it is a signal that your body needs more rest. Read more in our article on boosting female fertility.

In terms of libido, you will likely notice a decline. Less interest in intimacy is entirely common during this phase. That does not mean intimacy cannot happen, but the need tends to shift: less intensity, more closeness. This is the phase for erotic massage, slow sex, extended foreplay, and connection without performance pressure. Lubricant is often more welcome now too, as natural moisture decreases.

Reading along, partner?

If she is irritable, tearful, or says that everything is getting on her nerves right now - it is not about you. Her progesterone is plummeting and taking her serotonin along with it. Rather than asking "What's wrong?", try saying: "I'm here". This is not the time for difficult conversations, constructive feedback, or wondering aloud why the house is not tidy. It is, however, exactly the right time for: chocolate, keeping your opinions to yourself, and genuinely extended foreplay if intimacy does happen. Pamper her and take your time.

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Hormones, mood, and energy: why you feel different every week

Behind all those shifts in mood are hormones working together like an orchestra - and sometimes playing distinctly out of tune.

Oestrogen is your feel-good hormone. It rises during the first half of the cycle, making you feel energetic, mentally sharp, and sociable. It also stimulates the production of serotonin, the mood-lifting neurotransmitter. When oestrogen falls (during the luteal phase and in the run-up to your period), your mood often follows.

Progesterone is the calming hormone of the second half. It makes you quieter, somewhat sleepier, and more inwardly focused. Useful when you are pregnant; less so when you have a deadline looming. When progesterone then drops sharply just before your period, you may feel restless, prone to overthinking, and quick to lose patience.

Testosterone also plays an important role in women: it gives you drive, energy, and sexual desire. It rises alongside oestrogen in the first half of the cycle, peaks around ovulation, and declines during the luteal phase. That decline partly explains why you tend to feel less motivated in weeks three and four.

FSH (follicle-stimulating hormone) and LH (luteinising hormone) work quietly behind the scenes. FSH initiates egg development; LH triggers the release of the egg at ovulation. You do not feel them directly, but they set the rhythm for everything else.

What this means in practical terms for your mood: in weeks one and two, your energy rises, your thinking becomes clearer, and you feel more optimistic. Around ovulation, you are at your sharpest. After that, in weeks three and four, progesterone takes the lead while oestrogen and testosterone decline - the brakes come on. Many women find they ruminate more during the luteal phase, sleep more restlessly, and feel more emotionally vulnerable.

And then there is the pill: hormonal contraception suppresses these natural fluctuations. Some women experience that as a relief (no more PMS), while others find they feel emotionally flat. Neither response is right or wrong, but it is worth knowing that the pill replaces your natural cycle with a synthetic one.

Reading along, partner?

A quick summary for the fridge door:

Week 1 (menstruation): she is having a hard time, even if she does not always show it. Take something off her plate, make her a cup of tea, and do not ask too many questions.

Week 2 (follicular phase): her energy is coming back and she is ready to do things again. Plan something fun or adventurous together - she is open to it.

Week 3 (ovulation): she feels good in her own skin, is more adventurous, and often has more desire for intimacy. Surprise her, be playful, dare to suggest something new.

Week 4 (luteal phase): her hormones are falling, and her patience may be too. Be kind, be patient, and save any jokes about hormones for another time.

This pattern repeats itself every month. Predictable? Somewhat. Useful to know? Enormously.

Your cycle and your intimate life

One week you are pulling your partner towards the bedroom; the next, you feel a headache coming on the moment someone even mentions the word. Sound familiar? It has everything to do with your cycle. And yet almost nobody writes about it. Time to change that.

Follicular phase and around ovulation (spring/summer): your body is working in your favour. You are more sensitive, more naturally lubricated, and more open to adventure. This is the moment to explore something you have been curious about for a while - a new position, anal intimacy, a different setting, non-penetrative intimacy as a prelude, or an evening where you both let go of control. Pleasure products can add an extra dimension if you are curious about them. Looking for inspiration? We have written an article on the 15 most common intimate fantasies of women.

In the luteal phase (autumn): your body is asking for something different. Slower, softer, more connected. Slow sex, sensate focus exercises, extended foreplay, or simply lying close to each other for a long time may feel more satisfying now than anything more intense. And that is not less - it is simply different. Do use lubricant, as your natural moisture decreases during this phase.

During your period (winter): if you feel like it, why not? An orgasm can relieve cramps by triggering uterine contractions and releasing endorphins. And if you do not feel like it, that is just as valid. Listen to your body, not to expectations.

Do you notice that your libido not only fluctuates throughout your cycle but is consistently on the low side? Then there may be more at play than just your hormonal rhythm. Read our article on boosting female libido.

Phase What your body is doing What can feel good
Menstruation Less moisture, more sensitivity Orgasm can ease cramps - take things gently
Follicular and ovulation More moisture, heightened sensitivity, more adventurous Trying something new, being playful, letting things unfold spontaneously
Luteal phase Less moisture, more emotional Extended foreplay, lubricant, massage, slow sex, closeness and connection

Reading along, partner?

Her desire moves in waves. In week one, intimacy is often the last thing on her mind - and that is completely fine. Be close without expecting anything. In weeks two and three, you will notice it naturally: she touches you more, looks at you differently, draws you in. Ride that wave with her. In week four, the need shifts: less pace, more skin, more attention. That is exactly when you should invest in foreplay - real foreplay, not five minutes as a warm-up. Take your time, use lubricant when it helps, and let the orgasm be a journey rather than a destination. Sometimes lying close together and building things up slowly is precisely what her body needs. And honestly? That slow build has its own very particular kind of tension.

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Living in tune with your cycle: what can you do in each phase?

The idea of cycle-aware living is gaining traction on social media, and there is more substance to it than you might expect. The principle is actually quite straightforward: work with your body rather than against it.

Winter (menstruation): rest, warming meals, iron-rich foods (think beetroot, spinach, lentils). Magnesium helps with cramps and can be found in dark chocolate, nuts, and pumpkin seeds. Light movement such as walking or yin yoga. Big decisions? Better to set those aside for now.

Spring (follicular phase): your energy is rising, and you can make good use of it. This is an excellent time for new projects, social commitments, and slightly more intensive exercise. In terms of nutrition: green vegetables, fermented foods (yoghurt, sauerkraut), and plenty of protein to support the body's rebuilding process.

Summer (ovulation): you are at your peak. Schedule your most important appointments here - that presentation, that tricky conversation, that sporting challenge. Eat lightly and freshly: plenty of vegetables, fruit, and fish. Your body needs less extra support right now; it is running at full capacity.

Autumn (luteal phase): ease off the accelerator. Complex carbohydrates (sweet potato, porridge oats, wholegrain foods) help keep your serotonin levels steady. Vitamin B6 (regular potatoes are a good source) and magnesium support your nervous system. Fewer social obligations, saying no more often, getting to bed earlier.

Tracking your cycle using an app (such as Apple Health, Flo, or Clue) makes this much easier. After a few months, you will start to see patterns: when you have energy, when you tend to overthink things, when you prefer your own company. That knowledge is genuinely empowering.

When is your cycle not normal?

Not every cycle runs like clockwork, and it does not need to. But there are certain signs worth paying attention to. See your GP if your cycle is shorter than 21 days or longer than 35, if your period lasts more than 7 days, if the blood loss is extremely heavy, or if your period suddenly stops altogether (and you are not pregnant). Severe pain that does not respond to over-the-counter pain relief is also a reason to seek further advice.

In closing

If there is one thing to take away from this article, let it be this: your cycle is not a burden. It is information. It tells you when you can push yourself and when you need to rest. When your body is open to adventure and when it is asking for gentleness. Those fluctuations are not flaws in the system - they are the system.

The better you come to know your cycle, the better you can look after yourself. And the better you can explain it to the people around you. Share this article with your partner, your sister, your daughter, your friend. Because this is knowledge that everyone deserves.

And remember: you are not the same version of yourself every month. You are four versions. And every one of them is valid.

Further reading

Veelgestelde vragen

Hoe lang duurt een menstruatiecyclus?

Een menstruatiecyclus duurt gemiddeld 28 dagen, maar alles tussen 21 en 35 dagen is normaal. De cyclus begint op de eerste dag van uw menstruatie en eindigt de dag voor de volgende. De lengte kan per maand verschillen en wordt beïnvloed door stress, slaap en levensstijl.

Wat zijn de vier fasen van de menstruatiecyclus?

De vier fasen zijn: de menstruatie (dag 1-5), de folliculaire fase (dag 6-14), de eisprong of ovulatie (rond dag 14), en de luteale fase (dag 15-28). Elke fase wordt aangestuurd door andere hormonen en heeft invloed op uw energie, stemming en libido

Wat is de folliculaire fase?

De folliculaire fase is de periode na uw menstruatie tot aan de eisprong, grofweg dag 6 tot 14 van uw cyclus. In deze fase rijpt een eicel in de eierstok en stijgt het oestrogeen. U merkt het aan toenemende energie, een beter humeur en meer zin in seks.

Hoe lang duurt de eisprong?

De eisprong zelf duurt maar een kort moment: de eicel komt vrij uit de eierstok en is vervolgens 12 tot 24 uur beschikbaar voor bevruchting. Het vruchtbare venster is breder (zo'n 5 tot 6 dagen), omdat zaadcellen tot vijf dagen in het lichaam kunnen overleven.

Hoe herkent u de eisprong?

De eisprong herkent u aan heldere, rekbare afscheiding (als rauw eiwit), een licht stekend gevoel in de onderbuik (het middenpijntje), een lichte stijging van de lichaamstemperatuur, en bij veel vrouwen een verhoogd libido. Ovulatietests kunnen het moment preciezer bepalen door de LH-piek in uw urine te meten.

Wat is de luteale fase?

De luteale fase is de tweede helft van uw cyclus, van de eisprong tot de menstruatie (grofweg dag 15-28). Het hormoon progesteron stijgt om de baarmoeder voor te bereiden op een mogelijke zwangerschap. Wordt de eicel niet bevrucht, dan dalen alle hormonen en volgt de menstruatie. PMS-klachten horen bij deze fase.

Wat te doen bij misselijkheid tijdens de menstruatie?

Misselijkheid tijdens de menstruatie wordt vaak veroorzaakt door prostaglandines, stoffen die de baarmoeder helpen samentrekken. Wat helpt: gemberthee, kleine maaltijden in plaats van grote, voldoende water, magnesiumrijke voeding en lichte beweging. Bij aanhoudende, ernstige misselijkheid is het verstandig om uw huisarts te raadplegen.

Heeft de menstruatiecyclus invloed op uw libido?

Ja, en behoorlijk. Rond de eisprong is uw libido doorgaans het hoogst door de piek in oestrogeen en testosteron. In de luteale fase (de twee weken voor de menstruatie) neemt het verlangen bij veel vrouwen af. Tijdens de menstruatie zelf verschilt het per vrouw. Deze schommelingen zijn normaal en horen bij de cyclus.

Hoe kunt u uw cyclus bijhouden?

Met een cyclus-app zoals Flo, Clue of de Health-app van Apple. Noteer wanneer uw menstruatie begint en eindigt, hoe u zich voelt, uw energieniveau en eventuele klachten. Na drie tot vier maanden ziet u patronen en kunt u beter inspelen op wat uw lichaam nodig heeft.

Verandert de menstruatiecyclus met de leeftijd?

Ja. In de eerste jaren na de eerste menstruatie kan de cyclus onregelmatig zijn. Tussen uw 20e en 40e is het meestal het meest voorspelbaar. Na uw 40e kan de cyclus korter of juist onregelmatiger worden, als voorbode van de overgang. Tijdens de overgang nemen de hormoonschommelingen toe totdat de menstruatie uiteindelijk stopt.

Heeft stress invloed op de menstruatiecyclus?

Ja. Chronische stress verhoogt het cortisol in uw lichaam. Cortisol kan de eisprong vertragen of zelfs overslaan, waardoor uw cyclus langer of onregelmatiger wordt. Ook PMS-klachten kunnen verergeren bij langdurige stress.

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