Many people fantasise about it at some point: visiting a swingers club. Perhaps you want to breathe new life into your relationship, perhaps you both fancy an exciting adventure, or it is simply old-fashioned curiosity about such a club that makes you want to take a look. Every couple has their own reasons for wanting to visit a swingers club.

Once you have discussed it with each other, it is time to actually take the step. But for many people, the threshold is high. What can you actually expect from a visit to a swingers club?

Table of contents

What exactly is a swingers club

A swingers club is a place where all kinds of different people meet, with the possibility of having sex on the spot or elsewhere. A swingers club is the ultimate way to take the first steps into the swinging scene. It is safe, discreet, and you do not have to do anything at all.

The club looks much like what you would imagine a 'regular' club to be. There is a bar, a lounge area, and a dance floor. Many clubs have a restaurant. Unlike 'regular' clubs, swingers clubs also have relaxation areas. These vary from club to club and may include a sauna, a jacuzzi, a garden, dark rooms, extra-large mattresses (suitable for sex with multiple people) and separate play rooms. Some clubs also offer BDSM areas.

Who will you encounter at a swingers club?

In most swingers clubs you will find a great diversity of people. You would not easily recognise club visitors in everyday life. It could be a neighbour, the school headmaster, the hairdresser or the CEO of an IT company. Visitors come from all walks of life, have different sexual preferences, ages and nationalities. What they have in common is that they are open-minded, tolerant and sociable.

The first visit

To visit a swingers club, you purchase an entry ticket. The price usually includes the club visit, condoms, locker use, towels, drinks and a snack. Admission policies differ per club. Some clubs enforce strict dress codes, at some clubs single men are not allowed in, or they may check, for instance, whether you as a visitor speak the local language well. This is to prevent miscommunication. In all clubs, one rule always applies: no means no.

A first visit to a swingers club can be exciting even for the most adventurous couples. The clubs understand this, which is why beginners' nights exist. A special evening for first-time visitors. Such an evening usually starts early and you can come in your regular clothes. A staff member will show you around, clearly explain the house rules and be ready to answer all your questions. People in swingers clubs are tolerant and open-minded, so you can ask anything. Nothing is weird. During this evening you will meet other beginners and can take a wait-and-see approach. Later in the evening, you are usually expected to change into something more appropriate. If you would rather not, you are free to leave the club, no hard feelings. In many cases, you will also receive (part of) your entry fee back.

Dress code: swingers club clothing guidelines

You absolutely do not need to be young or gorgeous to go to a swingers club. All kinds of people visit swingers clubs. Tall, short, curvy, slim... Charisma and personality are far more important in a swingers club. However, you are expected to dress well and look well-groomed and attractive.

In a swingers club, slightly different clothing rules apply than in a regular club. There is a moment before the dress code, and the moment when the dress code comes into effect. You begin your visit to a swingers club in regular evening wear. For men, this might be a nice shirt, trousers and smart shoes. Ladies can wear a dress, elegant evening wear or a skirt. It does not have to be too modest and can certainly be sexy. The door policy is often very strict. If you arrive in trainers and a hoodie, you will most likely be turned away.

At a certain time (which varies per club), the dress code comes into effect. You put the clothes you have been wearing into a locker. Also store your phone and other items you will not need that evening. Entry prices are usually all-inclusive, so you will not need your wallet either. From this point on, the men in the club wear, for example, a stylish (often black) boxer brief and slippers or bare feet. The ladies wear sexy lingerie or enticing outfits such as a see-through dress or a babydoll with, for instance, suspenders and stay-up stockings.

When visiting a club for the first time, it is nice to arrive early. That way you have plenty of time to get used to the atmosphere with your clothes on before the dress code comes into effect.

What can you do at a swingers club

What there is to experience at a club also varies from club to club. What the clubs have in common is that, besides a fun night out, you can have sex with your own partner as well as with other couples. Many clubs have special play rooms for this purpose. Sex is part of the experience, but is absolutely not compulsory. You can also have a perfectly enjoyable evening at a swingers club without having sex. Many couples visit a swingers club for the erotic atmosphere, the sociability, to watch and be watched, and to flirt a little.

If you do choose to have sex with others - it may be stating the obvious, but it is still worth emphasising: make sure you do so safely. The swingers clubs ensure that condoms are available everywhere. Most clubs also have wellness-style relaxation areas. Think of saunas, massage tables and jacuzzis.

Step by step, enjoying together

When you visit a swingers club for the first time, you can calmly walk around and look. This allows you to get used to the atmosphere and the sight of people having sex. That alone is often intense enough. It also lets you experience whether it is something for you. Do you enjoy it and find it arousing? Then you can take the next step. You can make love with your partner in a room where other people are also having sex. Even though you are having sex with your own partner, the fact that other people around you are having sex, that you can see them and they can see you, can be a very arousing experience.

Ready for the next step? And curious about what it would be like with another couple? Together with your partner, you can look for a couple that you both find attractive. With that other couple, you can start having fun. A logical first step with another couple is a "soft swap". This means all kinds of sexual acts may take place, but no penetration. Of course, you can indicate which sexual acts you do and do not want. And with whom.

A "full swap" does include penetration. This can be with your own partner, but also with the partner of the other couple. As you can imagine, all these steps certainly do not have to be taken in a single evening.

Which club (in the Netherlands) should we choose?

A little research quickly shows that there are plenty of swingers clubs to be found in the Netherlands. It is important that the club you choose has clear rules, closely monitors safety, and places high value on hygiene. A few of the best swingers clubs in the Netherlands that you could visit as a beginner include Partyplayers in Lelystad (Flevoland), Fata Morgana in Muiden (North Holland, 20 km east of Amsterdam) and Parenclub Monique in Wieringerwerf (North Holland).

Fata Morgana

One of the largest and most complete luxury swingers clubs in Europe.

Who is it for: only couples are admitted. Threesomes are also welcome.
What can you do: bar, large dance floor with professional DJ booth and top DJs, restaurant, luxurious relaxation areas (including darkroom, BDSM room, orgy loft) and a modern sauna complex. During the summer months, the outdoor facilities are also available. These include a large garden with an outdoor swimming pool.
Dress code: lingerie.
Entry price: Friday €100 per couple, Saturday €125 per couple, Sunday €120 per couple.
Your entry price includes all drinks, an extensive dinner and use of all facilities. Free membership is required upon your first visit.
📍Muiden
http://www.fata-morgana.nl/nl/start.html

Parenclub Monique

Here you do not need to leave any names or personal details. Parenclub Monique takes plenty of time for new visitors.

Who is it for: everyone who knows how to behave is welcome.
What can you do: bar, dance floor and lounge area. Wellness area with couples sauna, Turkish steam bath and massage tables. Various rooms with fun themes, such as the gnome house.
Dress code: the dress code applies from the moment you enter. Lingerie or an alluring outfit is required.
Entry price: varies per (themed) evening. Almost always under €100. Check the website for the price per evening. The price includes unlimited food and drink (including spirits), use of towels and condoms, a lockable clothes locker and use of all facilities.
📍 Wieringerwerf
https://www.parenclub-monique.nl/

Partyplayers

This club is very well suited for BDSM enthusiasts.

Who is it for: couples, singles and threesomes alike.
What can you do: bar, coffee buffet, lunch and dinner, swimming pool and jacuzzi, sauna, play areas, darkroom and BDSM dungeon.
Dress code: no strict dress code, but you are expected to look smart. For ladies, this means a sexy dress, lingerie or club wear, and for men a stylish boxer or club wear.
Entry price: weekdays €40 per couple. Weekends €60 per couple. Single ladies pay €20, single men pay €80. Prices may vary per day or per themed evening. Check the website for current prices.
📍 Lelystad
https://www.partyplayers.nl/

If Muiden, Lelystad and Wieringerwerf are too far to drive for you, there may well be an excellent swingers club in your area. There are more than twenty swingers clubs in the Netherlands, usually discreetly located on the outskirts of large or medium-sized cities. So there is always one near you.

A recommendation would be to thoroughly read the swingers club reviews online before you visit. You can find these by searching for the name of the club in question, and you will usually see a section with reviews from previous visitors on the right side of the search results. If there are no reviews yet, there may be a reason for that, and we would advise against visiting.

Also check the club's website carefully to see if there are themed evenings. For a first visit, it is best to go on a regular evening.

To make things a little easier for you, here are a number of points you can discuss together before making your choice.

Would you like to relax? Then look for a club with extensive wellness facilities. Would you rather dance and party? Then other clubs may be more suitable. Every club organises themed parties. Look for a club that hosts themed events that appeal to you.

Sexy lingerie for the swingers club

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Privacy

Privacy is important for all club visitors. The parking spaces at the clubs are therefore almost always discreetly located, so that your visit goes unnoticed.

And what happens in a swingers club, stays in a swingers club. True swingers never reveal anything, and you never need to worry about information leaking out.

At a club, you do not need to provide personal details such as your address or phone number. Nobody knows where you live or work.

You have nothing to fear regarding your privacy at a swingers club.

Agreements

It is very important that you and your partner make clear agreements and talk openly with each other before going to a club. For example, about sexual acts, expectations and boundaries.

How do you feel about kissing? And about other sexual acts, such as fingering, oral sex and intercourse? What may someone else do with you and your partner? And what not? What is your sexual preference? What would you like to try? And what do you definitely not want? How will you deal with any jealousy? An affair, by the way, is never the intention of swinging. It is about open-minded sex.

It can, of course, happen that something that was very arousing in your thoughts and fantasies turns out not to be so at all in practice. It is important to express that. If you want to stop, say so immediately. Everything will stop right away. If you or your partner wants to go home, you leave straight away, without discussion. Any discussions take place at home, not on the spot.

When you discuss all of this beforehand, you can be sure that you are not putting your relationship at risk, and that you both have a wonderful and exciting evening. And that is, of course, ultimately the purpose of the visit.

Frequently Asked Questions

Do you have to have sex when you visit a club?

No. Nothing is mandatory. Many couples go primarily for the erotic atmosphere, to flirt, to watch or simply to enjoy each other's company. Some visitors only have sex with their own partner, while others enjoy experimenting gradually. Clubs are very clear: "No means no." You may indicate at any time that you do not wish to participate.

How do you prevent jealousy during the visit?

Good communication is key. Discuss your boundaries beforehand, what you might want to leave open and how you will signal each other if you want to stop. What seemed exciting in your fantasy may feel different in reality. Talk about what went well and what did not when you get home.

What do you wear on a first visit?

Initially you wear regular going-out clothes: men often a dress shirt and smart trousers, women a nice dress or something festive. Later in the evening you change into lingerie or sexy club wear. You do not need to be a model, but make sure you look well-groomed and confident.

How discreet is a visit to a swingers club?

Parking areas are usually screened off. You do not need to provide a name or address. What happens in the club stays there. Visitors themselves are also discreet. Everyone is there for the same reason: relaxed enjoyment in a safe atmosphere.

How likely is it that you will have sex with others the first time?

That is entirely up to you. Many couples use the first visit mainly to observe and get accustomed. Sometimes a spontaneous connection arises, but it often takes a few visits before you discover what you enjoy. Most couples build this up step by step.

How do you prepare together for the first visit?

Take the time to talk honestly about what you hope to experience, what you absolutely do not want and what excites you. Agree on a safe word in case one of you feels uncomfortable. Many couples find it helpful to choose a beginners' night first.

Are there ways to get in touch with other couples beforehand?

Yes, many couples use dedicated swingers dating websites such as SDC or Second Love to create a profile and make contact without obligation. This way you can get acquainted beforehand and possibly arrange to meet each other at the club.

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46 comments

Waar kun je als corpulent stel het beste terecht. Wij hebben een pondje meer op onze riben. Alvast bedankt

Anoniem

Weet het antwoord op jullie vraag niet maar hebben eigenlijk dezelfde vraag. Zijn van plan binnenkort naar de Fun4two te gaan op zondag. We vinden met leuk, maar niet uitsluitend hoor, als er ook wat mensen zijn van rond de 60 of iets ouder

Anoniem

Wil naar een club. Ben 70 jaar

Anoniem

Wat is een goede parenclub voor ouderen 60 plus

Anoniem

Hoi, ik zou samen met een vriendin graag eens een club bezoeken. Ik bi en zij “zoekende”. Hebben geen ervaring met club-bezoek. En ons leeftijdsverschil (ik 45 zij 24) maakt dat wij terughoudend zijn. Iemand de gouden tip voor ons???

Anoniem

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